Salvation

I was raised in a home where I was taught respect for the the things of God, but did not really have a grasp of the meaning of Salvation.  When just a small boy, I attended a Lutheran Sunday School in Burnaby, BC.  I think I drove the teachers crazy, I was always joking, never seemed serious, but as soon as I got home, I'd try to find the stories that we read in Sunday School and re-read them in the Bible for myself.  Usually I got side-tracked in other stories, but I clearly recall how God spoke to my young heart through His Word.

Later in life, as a young teen, I saw a real revival, and saw real Christians, who lived more than a "Sunday-go-to-meeting" Christianity.  Somehow I got the idea that there were three types of people in the world.  There were the bad sinners, and two types of Christians.  The majority of the Christians, like me, wanted to do what was right, but had a constant (and usually failing) struggle.  Then there were the few that I knew and admired, even envied, who had a real close walk with God.

As an older teen, after high school, I moved out of home and into my brother's place to go to college.  It was there that I began a serious downward slide into outward, obvious sin.  I discovered that you can become an unwilling but helpless slave to alcohol and many other bad habits.

In the middle of all this, I got wind through my family that my brother-in-law and sister had gone a little "funny".  I didn't think too much of it, but went to visit them a while later.  While there, I discovered that they had experienced a dramatic change!  I had put them down to being the same type of Christian as myself.  Now I had a dilemma!  Someone who was one type had changed to the other type.

I went home from that visit with my whole understanding of Christianity challenged.  There was a freshness to their experience that reminded me of the people I had admired, but I could no longer put my shortcomings down to some external factor beyond my control.  It wasn't what you were, it was something you could CHOOSE!

One night, shortly thereafter, I was at home, drinking, in the evening, and I thought to pull the Bible off the shelf.  As I turned the pages, I found that everything that I read clearly convinced me that God was not pleased, and in fact would be justified in punishing me, for the life I was living.

It was then that I did a very strange thing.  I prayed to God and told Him that if Hell were real, to please show me this fact, so I would take it seriously.  It was a weird thing to pray, but I was serious and honest in this prayer.  It was as if the floor opened up, and for just a moment, I glimpsed the awfulness of an eternity of lost opportunity, the horror of a real eternal Hell!  I can say that I had no doubts but that I deserved this punishment.  I KNEW this with a perfect conviction and a certainty that is unshakable!

I then did the second really weird thing.  I asked God to NEVER let me get away from that knowledge until I truly came to Him and dealt with the sin in my life.  I believe that He honoured that prayer, as well.

Then, being completely ignorant of the real plan of salvation, I spent about 6 to 8 months of trying to make myself good enough to give myself to God.  I have a nearly photographic memory for things that I read.  I could out-quote many devout Christians when it came to scripture, including some very obscure passages.  Yet I didn't have a clue about God's true plan of Salvation.  Talk about ignorance!  Yet, God used this time to bring me to Him, His way!

The harder I tried to make myself good enough, and the more time I spent in God's word, the more I realized just how deep Sin really was in my life.  On the surface, I put on a good show, but I was aware of the fact that the reality inside just wasn't there.  And the alcohol problem continued to run through everything and ruin my life in countless little ways.  I knew that it would eventually take over completely and do serious damage.

Finally, with my brother in law and sister, I visited First Baptist Church in Mission, BC.  I was there the first Sunday that a new pastor, Pastor Savage, was there (December 3rd, 1978).  At the end of the meeting he asked if anyone needed to be saved, or wanted to obey the Lord in water baptism.  Being quite confused with eternal security and other similar mistakes, I raised my hand, but indicated water baptism when asked.  They made arrangements for me to be water baptized the following Sunday.

Well, I had read Romans chapter 6, and knew that water baptism represented dying to sin and rising in newness of life with Christ.  I also knew that that was not my present experience.  I spent the week in turmoil, knowing that I was not really ready for that ordinance, and not knowing what to do about it.  Now on the Thursday night (December 7th), there was a dance coming.  I was supposed to pick up my friend and drive him there.  Of course, I'd drink anything in sight, probably not remember most of what I did that night, and wish I could forget the parts I DID remember.

I got home from work and sat there, knowing that if I went, I'd have to call off the water baptism, but knowing that I didn't have the moral strength to say "NO" when my friend called.  What do do?

I prayed, in simple defeat, and asked God to somehow help me.  Something inside (I now know it was God's Spirit) told me to pick up my Bible and open it.  As I began to read, every page I flipped to had strength for me!  I learned a valuable lesson there that I hope I NEVER lose sight of.  The source of my strength is God's Word!

When my friend called, I had the strength to say "NO".  What's more, God spoke to my heart, and I immediately (while I had the strength), called up some other friends to tell them of my decision to serve God, and that I would not be a part of that lifestyle that I had participated in.  It wasn't easy, but I knew that I had to move while that strength was with me.  Then, I decided that I needed to tell my brother in law and sister about what had happened.

As I was driving to tell them, God sent a witness of His salvation to my heart.  I hadn't expected it, but it was as though the Volkswagen I was driving was flying 50 feet in the air!  I gave my first testimony to those two.

I went through with that water baptism, and gave my second testimony to the congregation that Sunday Night (December 10th).  The next week, I went to a Bible study on the Wednesday night, and a traveling evangelist was there.  He spoke out of John 10:27-29.  "My sheep hear My voice, and I know them and they follow Me..."  At 19, I played the tough teen, but at that meeting, I wept with joy and astonishment at the sense of God's love that His Spirit was ministering to me.

Those first few weeks, I often failed and fell, but I discovered that if I reached my hand out to Him, He would pick me up and keep me going.  He never berated me for failing, He just picked me up in love, and helped me back on my way.  I was not conscious of deciding that I could not drink alcohol, but I didn't touch a drop, or even think of it, for about 3 months.  Then, one day, in a moment of discouragement, the thought went through my mind "why don't you just get drunk and forget your troubles!".  Even as this thought went through my mind, a revulsion and disgust followed on its heels!  It took me a moment to grasp what a powerful victory this was, and it completely destroyed the discouragement that I was feeling. In fact, while I remember this event clearly, I can't for the life of me recall what had had me so discouraged!

I also discovered that you could pray in faith, expecting a response and you would always get one.  Somehow I had got the impression as a boy that prayer was a good exercise, but you didn't really expect it to work.  Now this theory was on its head!  I quickly sensed through God's Spirit that prayer that didn't expect an answer was an insult to God!  Sometimes the answer was "no", or "not now", or "how about this instead?", but there was always an answer!

That was over 24 years ago, but I'm not only looking back.  Jesus is still my Saviour, and still hears and answers prayers for me today!